Emotional intelligence determines how well we live is the key to being happy.
Those who develop it are more effective in all aspects of life, but most of all are happier.
As early as 1920, Edward L. Thorndike described what he called “social intelligence” – the basic ability to understand and motivate other people. In the 1940’s, David Wechsler made it clear that no intelligence test would be valid unless emotional aspects were considered. According to Professor Daniel Goleman, a brilliant brain and a high IQ are completely useless, if we do not understand what empathy is. If we don’t know how to read our own emotions (and other people’s emotions), if we’re strangers to our own heart and lack the social awareness to connect, manage fear, and be assertive, then IQ means nothing.
So what is emotional intelligence?
It is a way of viewing intelligence beyond its cognitive aspects (such as memory and problem solving). We are talking primarily about our ability to effectively pay attention to others and ourselves, to connect with our emotions, to manage them, to self-improve, to inhibit our impulses.
Frederick Dodson said, “Pay attention to something else and your emotions will change. Change your emotions and your attention will shift.”
Professor Goleman described the specificity of emotional intelligence: We need to detect the emotions associated with each of our actions. We need to develop our own emotional language (sometimes it is not enough to say “I’m sad”, we have to be more specific. “I’m sad because I feel disappointed, a bit angry and confused at the same time”). Let us control our thoughts, so that we can control our behavior. Let’s look for the reasons behind the behavior of others, learn to understand the different points of view and the emotions of others. Let us express our emotions clearly. Let’s improve our social skills. Let’s learn to motivate ourselves and fight for the things that can bring us closer to true happiness.
Mayer was the first to describe this element of our psyche. Emotional intelligence is a human ability that allows us to perceive, understand and deal with our own emotions and with the emotions of those around us.
Emotions really have great power, in stimulating us to change. This is because they directly affect our behavior and the way we think, and therefore play an extremely important role in shaping our personality. If we have emotional intelligence in our lives, we will be aware of the importance of ethics in everything we do. And this regardless of whether we are at work, with the family or in another place – we will always follow the same rules and always be able to distinguish good from bad.
The past stays behind us and we live in the present.
The key to success in life it is said, is academic intelligence, measured by IQ, which quite often parallels academic performance.
Based on many years of research, it is stated that emotional intelligence plays a large role in our personal and professional life, which influences how we use our knowledge and skills. Emotional intelligence comprises five emotional and social competences.
These are:
- self-consciousness
- self-regulation
- motivation
- empathy
- social skills
“Emotional intelligence accounts for 80 percent of the success in life.”
Daniel Goleman